18SX Joke

Friends are like underwear, always a comfort.Good friends are like condom always protecting. Great friends are like viagra, lift you up when you are down. ************************************************************
The sad life of a penis " I only have one eye, my hair is a mess, my skin is wrinkly, my relatives are nuts, my neighbor's an a**hole and my best friend's a pu**y." ************************************************************
Engineering.Why are WOMEN the best ENGINEERS in the WORLD?Because they can DEMOLISH an ERECTION without damaging the STRUCTURE! ************************************************************
Don't make love to a policewoman; she will say "STOP".Don't make love to a nurse, she will say "NEXT", but make love to a bus conductor, she will say,"MASUK DALAM LAGI!!" ************************************************************
Man : I wanna buy condom Salesgirl : May I hold your penis for size? Give him a 'M'. Wait...Give him 'L'..wait...give him 'XL'...Oh shit.... Give me a TISSUE..... ************************************************************
An Arab interview at the US Checkpoint. Officer: Your name please? Arab Guy: Abdul Aziz Officer: Sex? Arab Guy: Six times a week. Officer: I mean male or female? Arab Guy: Doesn't matter, sometimes even camel. ************************************************************
Dracula asks God " May I reincarnate into a white angel with wings and still suck blood?" God said "OK, I'll turn you into a KOTEX!" ************************************************************
Teacher : Why you rub oil on your head whenever I am teaching? Student : Last night, I heard my mum told my dad, rub oil on the HEAD. If not, cannot go in. ************************************************************
British aged 90 married a 16 years old. He had baby every year and bragged that his engine was turbo. When the fifth was born, the nurse said "Check engine oil, baby is black". ************************************************************
A man went to the hospital for a checkup. The doctor said he has penis cancer. He went home, upset, shouted at his wife with anger, "SEE, I TOLD YOU TO STOP SMOKING!" ************************************************************
Farmer ordered a MILKING MACHINE. Tried it on his penis and had a wonderful orgasm, but can't remove it. So, he reads the manual and faints. It says "AUTO RELEASE AFTER 2 LITRES".
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Teacher : Why do cow look depressed when being milked? Student : Madam, if someone rubs and squeeze your breasts for 2 hours but don't f**k you, how would you feel? ************************************************************
Woman asked god to make the penis pretty. He said no way. Now it's ugly and you suck it. If it is pretty, you would eat it. ************************************************************